Growing up we did not see a lot of black women friendships displayed in our personal lives. This could be for many reasons such as location, accessibility, culture, etc. Thankfully as we got older, we had shows like Girlfriends, Waiting to Exhale, Insecure, and so many other amazing black women friendship stories. It’s one thing to have close friends but another thing to have close “black women friends”!
Acceptance
We know how hard it is to be accepted in the world. Black women have so many standards they have to subscribe to. Be two steps ahead, be a strong black woman. Don’t be too strong because then your are aggressive. So many other that could be listed. Black women friendships remove all of the standards set by society. These are spaces where there are no rules to be accepted and you can be truly accepted for who you are. This is a space where you remove all the masks and we say “come here baby, we accept you“.
Safe Emotional and Psychological Space
We often remind each other that this friendship is a safe space. This friendship gives you access to be as emotional as you need to be. To be able to just give that look and the girls know you need a moment, or space to release, is the best type of community a black woman can have. There is so much trauma that we experience so to be able to release and not have to explain why we feel a certain way and someone there who just knows and can help, is why it’s so important to have this community.
Support
The way we support each other is wild! We will literally help you pic out your new social media post, like, comment and share this post AS IF we didn’t help you choose the best pics and write the description. The fact you can send an SOS in the group chat and WE READY is the the type of support every black woman needs in her life. It sucks when we see black women show their disdain for other black women due to failed friendships or other situations. Can’t nobody support you like a sista. Now there are people who can be your biggest supporters, but let’s just be honest, it is not the same.
Respect
Everyone needs respect. Basic need of life. A lot of times for black women, we do not get this. Society wrapps it up in so many reasons why we don’t deserve it but everyone deserves respect. Black women friendships provide that kind of space. It hits different with your girl has the utmost respect for you. The relationship just bumped up another level. This respect makes its easier to set boundaries, navigate personalities, and handle disagreements.
Feeling Seen and Understood
We. Don’t. Have. To. Code. Switch. Can I get an AMEN?! Can I get a PRAISE HIM?! Yasss!
“I see you” is like one of the best compliments you can get from a black woman. Whatever you are wearing or doing is so great that we have to let you know that black woman to black woman, you are seen and we appreciate it.
One of the most important parts of life is feeling seen and being understood. We, as black women, all have stories of how someone tried to minimize us in life, so having this community of people like you is so important. Sometimes you need that space to not necessarily be selfish, but to feel seen and heard. One of the best things about black women friendships is that we acknowledge and validate what our friends are experiencing, BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN THERE. Black women friendships offer that space for us to be vulnerable and to share. This is critical in a world that wants you to be a “strong black woman” at all times or want you to tone down your “aggression”.
Love
Not the romantic type, but the platonic type. Black women love each other differently. It’s kind of hard to explain but when you know, you know. Have you ever received a hug from a black woman? It just hits different. Have you ever been brought food to you with out asking from a black woman? It’s different. The way we love is amazing! If yo friendship don’t got this, RED FLAG sis!
Sense of Home
When we are together, it feels like home. No matter what is going on, we know we have a safe space to be ourselves. As a black woman navigating this life, you need this! We need a place to escape to and be our vulnerable selves during the good and bad times in life.
As a black woman, we experience life totally different than other women. In the words of Trevor Noah “If you want to learn about America, ask a black woman. Unlike everyone else, black women cannot afford to **** and find out. ” No truer words have been spoken.
We wish great black women friendships for all the black queens! 🖤
-issasistahood🖤
Leave a Reply